


Just One Dance

by slutwentz



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Dancing, First Kiss, M/M, This is so soft, Wow, also im bad at titles, im so gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 19:48:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11951382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slutwentz/pseuds/slutwentz
Summary: He was gorgeous. Blood flushed high in his usually pale cheeks as he stared at his toes on the floor. It donned on me that he was embarrassed. I barked out a laugh, finally pushing away from the wall. "What's the matter, Snow? Can't dance?"





	Just One Dance

**Author's Note:**

> i finished carry on last night & was feeling Soft and Gay and this Happened
> 
> i read back thru this once to edit; feel free to point out any mistakes

Baz

 

I dreaded going back to our room that evening. Snow had mentioned something about a study date with Bunce. He hadn't specifically used the word "date", but I thought it was ridiculous that the two would continue to pretend they were nothing more than friends, especially since he and that Wellbelove girl had broken things off. Simon and Penelope had become increasingly more close over the past few weeks. They were always sitting side by side, heads ducked together while they whispered. Occasionally one of them would throw a glance in my direction. I replied with a scowl. He was quiet when we were alone, as well. He probably thought of nothing but her, day and night. Me, on the other hand, well. I thought of nothing but him.

Golden curls spilling over his forehead.

Pale blue eyes.

Freckles dotting pale skin.

Sharp cheekbones.

Pink lips.

I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, slowing as I reached the top of the stairs. I could hear them talking from the corridor. Bunce laughed. Simon groaned. "It's not funny! I- would you just stop laughing?" I pushed the heavy wooden door open and stepped into the room, smoothing any emotion out of my expression when I saw the gripping each other tightly. They were dancing. At least, they were attempting to dance, pressed together from hips to chest. Snow was focused intently on his feet. Trying to avoid stepping on her socked toes, I assumed.

I snorted, alerting them of my presence. "Practicing for the wedding?" The words had a sharp bite to them; they hurt coming out of my throat. Razor blades on my tongue.

Bunce just laughed. I watched her squeeze Simon's hand before she stepped away. "I think that's enough for tonight." She spoke to him, face twitching with a smile. He returned it with a soft one of his own. I loathed her, though somehow my will was strong enough to keep my scowl fixed pointedly out the window, only shifting to her when I was made to step aside so she could exit the room.

Fuck. He was gorgeous. Blood flushed high in his cheeks as he stared at his toes on the floor. It donned on me that he was embarrassed. I barked out a laugh, finally pushing away from the wall. "What's the matter, Snow? Can't dance?" Was he embarrassed that I had caught he and his girlfriend at such an intimate moment? I paused to wonder what might have happened had I not returned until later.

He shoved a hand through his curls. "Fuck off, Baz."

I decided to take pity on him. Sighing, I said, "I suppose I could help you. If you wanted." I think that the offer slipped out accidentally. I didn't want to practice with him so he could be good for his girlfriend. The idea of being so close to him- chest to chest and breathing the same breaths- was so appealing to me. It was stupid, but I wanted him to step on my toes, and I wanted his sweaty palm against mine, even if it was only for a handful of moments.

His brows pulled together when he looked into my face. "What's the catch?" I simply rolled my eyes.

"No catch." I stepped closer to him, holding out my hands. "You looked terribly pathetic with Bunce."

 

Simon

 

I watched, wary as he stretched his hands out to me. I didn't see what he could gain in this situation, other than a few bruised toes, maybe. Did vampires even bruise?

Penny had asked for my help. Micah was coming over from the States for New Years, and she just wanted to dance with him at the ball her parents put together every year. I told her I would help her practice, even though I was the least coordinated person at this school. I supposed a little help couldn't hurt.

I sighed and gave in. "Just one dance." I swear I saw something almost similar to a smile flit across his face before he regained himself.

"Right," he said. "One dance."

 

Baz

 

I placed my left hand in his right and settled my other on his shoulder. He tried to mimic my position. I rolled my eyes. "If I'm playing the part of your lady, Snow, your hand should be at my waist."

I hope he didn't notice how soft my voice was. I could feel the heat coming off of his skin when we were this close. His breath fanned my face (mouth breather); he smelled like sweets.

When he corrected his hand, I nodded. "Now lead, lover boy." His gaze met mine. He looked worried, like he was going to do it all wrong and break my toes; I found it absolutely endearing. "Just move. Don't think so much. You're always thinking too much."

It was awkward at first, being this close to him. It was new to us both. Though, I had a feeling I was enjoying our newfound proximity a bit more than he was. After a few minutes of slow steps and turns, I noticed him start to relax. He was no longer staring at the floor; I counted it as a win. My curiosity seemed to get the better of me, because I opened my mouth and asked, "Why were you and Bunce dancing, anyway? Big date coming up?"

He shrugged. "Her boyfriend is coming from America to spend the holiday with her. She wanted to brush up." Bunce had a boyfriend? Interesting. Not that this news changed anything between me and Simon. He hated me, most days. It was hard to remember that when I could feel the callouses on his fingers and hear his strong heartbeat this close.

"And she thought you would be good practice? Sorry to break it to you, Snow, but you're actually the most clumsy person I've ever met." His cheeks flushed again, and he looked over my shoulder.

"She thought we could help each other."

I pursed my lips, thoughtful. "So you've got a date to this holiday ball, then?" He stayed silent, but I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. I felt his muscles go tense. "Agatha?" I guessed. I was under the impression they were no longer speaking. I supposed I was a bit removed from every aspect of Snow's personal life, though I wished that weren't the case.

He shook his head, shifting his eyes back to meet mine. "I. No, I don't have a date, yet." So he wanted to ask someone. The way he was looking at me made my heart thump erratically, and I focused on trying to slow it back to normal. I think it wanted to pop out of my chest and run off with his.

"Who do you plan on asking, then?" I couldn't help myself. It was stupid to be so hopeful. Why was I sitting here like a love struck girl, carefully analyzing every word he spoke and every breath he took?

 

Simon

 

"Nobody, really." I cleared my throat, glancing past his shoulder again. The intensity burning in his eyes made me nervous. Part of me wanted to drop his hand and run out the door. Maybe I could find a way to stay with Penelope for the night. "Just, you know. If I- If someone happens to ask me. I like to be prepared." I was sure I heard him snort.

"Right." He tried to step away. I made myself look at him, hand tightening around his. His eyes narrowed when they met mine, but other than that, I couldn't tell how he was feeling. That was nothing new. He cleared his throat, eyes flickering to our joined hands. "Well, Snow," he sounded like he was wrapping up a lecture. "You're better off than when you started. I believe that I've done all I can to help you. Just, you know, try not to break your lady's toes, and I'm sure you'll b-"  
"Come to the ball with me, Baz."

 

Baz

 

My sentence ended abruptly, falling off the end of my tongue. He wanted to take me? Me, his enemy since we were eleven? Was he mad? Surely he must be mad. But I wanted to go with him; I think that makes me the maddest of them all.

 

Simon

 

I gripped his hand tightly. Don't say no, I thought. I turned my head toward his, watched his brow furrow. I don't know how long this stupid crush had been consuming me, and I don't know what it was that made me ask him so sudden and without thought, but I was mostly glad that I did. If he did say no, well, I could avoid him for the rest of the term. If he said yes... I couldn't let myself finish the thought.

 

Baz

 

"Yes," I breathed out. Though the words were a whisper, they felt huge and loud in the quiet of the room. He looked as shocked as I felt.

"Yes?" He scrunched up his freckled nose. He thought I was joking. Funny. I've never been more serious about anyone or anything in my life.

"That's what I said, isn't it?"  
"But. Why?" I laughed. Because he's beautiful? Because I've wanted this forever? Because I've been hopelessly in love with him since year five?

"You're not dating Bunce?" I wanted to clarify. If he was toying with me, I'd burn his bed. I may not be able to hurt him in this room, but there was nothing in the rules that mentioned personal items. He could sleep in the bathtub. He shook his head. "Or Wellbelove?"

"She isn't right for me."

"And you think I'm right for you?" I asked. My fingers tightened their grip against his shoulder.

"No," Simon shook his head again, and suddenly I felt as though I'd had the wind knocked out of me. When I tried to drop his hand for the second time, tried to step back, he only clutched me tighter. "I think you're terrible for me. We're terrible for each other, really," he continued, eyes searching my face with intent.

Then why, I wanted to ask. Why won't you let me go? Why are we still dancing? "You're a mess." Why must he keep kicking me?

I huffed, shifting my gaze to the wall behind him. I'd given up on trying to free myself from him; it was useless. His hands were like vices, clamped down tight on my waist and fingers, and I knew I could get away from him with my extra strength, but I didn't want to hurt him. Pathetic.

"Yes, Snow," I said tightly. "You do know I love it when you insult me."

Love it when you tear out my heart and stomp it into the ground.

"Baz, I'm a fucking wreck, too." Brow furrowing, I looked to his face once more. Beautiful blue eyes stared back at me. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest, alive. You make me alive. "I just. Us. Together? I think we'd be a beautiful mess."

 

Simon

 

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me. I don't think I had ever consciously wanted something so badly before in my life. I didn't know where the feeling had surfaced from, but it hit me, sudden and overwhelming.  
Kissmekissmekissme.

 

Baz

 

I should have cursed this kid years ago when I had the chance. Turned him into a frog or something of the like. I settled instead for silently cursing the relief I felt flooding through me when he let out a soft laugh. I cursed my eyes for flickering down to the source of the sound, for fluttering shut as I leaned in to capture his mouth with mine. 

I could feel it when he gasped. His chapped lips briefly parted before he returned the kiss, slow and soft and absolutely nothing like I imagined it to be.

 

Simon

 

Sparks. It was always fire with him, wasn't it?

Jesus Christ, it felt like it took him ages to press his mouth to mine. I sighed with relief. I didn't know how badly I needed this, needed him, until now. My eyelids slipped shut. I pulled his body tight against mine, feeling his heart thump, thump, thumping through layers of skin and clothes.

 

Baz

 

I had always imagined our first kiss to be angry. Biting. I didn't think about the way his hand would gently cup my hip, fingers flexing and gripping my blazer tightly. I didn't think I'd be able to feel his strong pulse against my tongue.

His kisses were gentle and warm. He dipped his head, pushed impossibly closer to me. Bloody hell, I never wanted this to end. I wondered briefly, before he dipped his tongue into the crevice of my lips and made me lose all coherent thought, if I could replace the action of breathing with kissing him. Let Simon be my lifeline. If that were impossible, I supposed I wouldn't mind dying like this. It wouldn't be the worst way to go.

Simonsimonsimon. His name filled my head. He was everything, suddenly. The only thing that existed in this world. He tasted of honey and smoke, a forest fire. Warm and dangerously inviting.

 

Simon

His lips were softer than I ever imagined; I didn't realize that I had imagined the feeling before, but now that I had something to compare it to, I realized that I did. They were warm, for a vampire.

 

Baz

 

Far too soon, he pulled away, chest heaving against my own, but he didn't go far. He tipped his forehead to meet mine, blue eyes searching my face for something. Maybe he thought I still wanted to flee. (Not that I ever truly did to begin with.) I don't know where he thought I would run to; this was the place I'd been dying to be for ages, now. Cheesy as it was, I'd been dreaming up all the ways I could get Simon Snow to kiss me for ages, and now that I had him, he was going to have a hard time shaking me. I parted my lips to speak, tongue darting out to wet them. (They tasted of him.) "Beautiful mess, huh?"

He laughed, the sound the only thing I could focus on besides the warmth of his face so close to mine. "We're truly a terrible match." His thumb stroked the skin along the small of my back, just above my belt. I supposed he was right- we did fight, loud and constant. His shoulder shrugged. "I kind of love it."

I rolled my eyes, sliding my hand up his shoulder to cup the side of his neck. Pressing my thumb into the mole there, I said, "Well, I kind of love you." Everything else seemed small in comparison. Unimportant. Minor details.

"Think it's worth it?" His brow crinkled. Is he worth it? I scanned his face, taking in every tiny freckle, every crease, trying to come up with an answer for him. It was likely that we would crash and burn. This could easily be the worst mistake of both our lives. I gave myself a moment to picture what my life would be like without him in it.

Then I felt his nose brush against mine, and he stepped on my toes, gave me a sheepish grin. Always clumsy, that boy. I huffed out a soft breath, nodding once, and stretched up to press my answer into his mouth, sealing the words against his lips like a promise. "Yeah, Snow. You are."


End file.
